Forsaken dreams. Romantic interests not pursued. Securing a job near home rather than an adventurous position overseas.
Forsaken dreams. Romantic interests not pursued. Securing a job near home rather than an adventurous position overseas.
Our most enduring regrets are the ones that stem from our failure to live up to our ideal selves, according to new Cornell research.
Psychologist Tom Gilovich and a former Cornell graduate student have found people are haunted more by regrets about failing to fulfill their hopes, goals and aspirations than by regrets about failing to fulfill their duties, obligations and responsibilities.
The research, “The Ideal Road Not Taken,” was published in the April issue of the journal Emotion. Gilovich’s co-author was Shai Davidai, Ph.D. ’15, now at The New School for Social Research.
“When we evaluate our lives, we think about whether we’re heading toward our ideal selves, becoming the person we’d like to be. Those are the regrets that are going to stick with you, because they are what you look at through the windshield of life,” said Gilovich, professor of psychology. “The ‘ought’ regrets are potholes on the road. Those were problems, but now they’re behind you.
Read more at Cornell University
